


Compunction

by eximious



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Character Growth, Character Study, First Person, Genderless MC, Other, Slow Burn, Spoilers, rebuilding relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eximious/pseuds/eximious
Summary: com·punc·tion/kəmˈpəNG(k)SH(ə)n/noun: a feeling of guilt or moral scruple that follows the doing of something bad.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> After Secret Endings 1 and 2 unlocked.

“I will forever be in your gratitude.” Someone said behind the blinding light.

I scrunched my face up as I tried to open my eyes. After several times, I finally succeeded only to shut them again in pain. Nervousness spiked as I rubbed them and tried again. Nothing.

“Why can’t I see?” I asked, sounding much stronger than I felt. “Answer me.”

I hear shuffling then a hand over my eyes causing me to flinch at the sudden contact. The hand was cool and shield my eyes from the unbearable lights, giving my eyes some relief. I grip the wrist of the hand, surprised at the thinness of the wrist and try to pry the hands off.

“Don’t.” A whisper, quiet and weak but I obeyed anyways. Then the reassurance came. “It’s alright.”

I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at the ridiculousness of his words. I press my lips together and think, _“It really isn’t.”_

After a while the hand removes itself and I open my eyes. I blink several times and look around. Everything was too bright; too white. My headache increased. I shield my eyes as if I was trying to stop said headache.

“Where am I?” I ask, peeking through my fingers.

To my surprise, V stood in front of me. He was smiling. His sunglasses discarded and he was staring at me. The light behind him, created a pseud-halo of an angel. V extended his hand for me to take but I wave it off as I stand up myself.

“V?” I asked to confirm. “Where are we? Where’s everyone else?”

V turns to look away from me. “Paradise.” He says as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “We’re in paradise.”

“Paradise,” I repeat staring dubiously at him. After spending time with the RFA, I became wary of the connotation and ideology behind the word. I start to remember things right up to this moment.

I begin to recall Mint Eye and how Rika was still alive, but she wasn’t as kind as everyone remembers she to be. I remember Unknown and Luciel-- their connection with each other going deeper than one hacker to another. I remember remember a gun and then finally V.

“The sky is beautiful here.” V comment brings me back. “So clear and blue.”

I carefully watch his back. Not too long ago his back was hunched and looked frail as if to hide himself. Now his back stood straight and his shoulders were squared, the strong back of a man. Was he always this tall? Did he always carry himself with such a dignified air around him? Or had Rika destroyed at too?

“As beautiful as this looks,” V turned to look at me and smiles. “It seems your time to enjoy this isn’t now. You must go back.”

I was getting real tired of V bossing me around, especially after what he’s done. I tilt my chin and look at him in the eyes. “I must go back? What about you?”

“I’m not too such, but I think my time has run out.” V shrugs then turns again. “Please take care of them for me.”

“And if I don’t?” I taught, my anger rising.

I knew it was wrong, to try to get a rise out of him. I was probably acting like Rika but I’m no pushover. I watch him closely, but he give me nothing and I’m left getting angier.

“I won’t blame you.” He said dejected.

I walk towards him until we were standing side-by-side. I glare at the whiteness, my skin crawling. I hate white.

“Don’t you ever get angry?” I asked with an edge to my voice.

“It’s dangerous if I do,” he replied.

“It’ll be more dangerous if you don’t.” I retorted. “Sometimes all anyone can do is become angry.”

“That’s not true,” he turned to me, a fire behind his eyes. “That’s not true at all.”

Something nasty swells up inside me as I watch him show vigorous emotions. “Why?”

“Sometimes people get hurt,” V whispered. “Then threaten to leave.”

I frowned. “That’s not quite right.” I walk forwards towards the blinding light. “People get hurt regardless of the circumstance.” I looked up. “Anger and guilt are just the aftermath.”

V reached out and grabbed him arm. “Don’t.” 

I look back at the light, hypnotized. “I think there’s someone there.”

V shaked his head. “There’s nothing there.”

Before I could reply and shake him off, the wind starts to pick up. A violent wind that has me grip at V’s arm. Thunder follows around us, and something opens behind V. I pull V towards me, surprised at how easy he follows and I stared as the hole stretched and became larger. 

“I think your time is up,” V said staring at the whole with a longing look. “Our home is there.”

“How do you know?” I asked, screaming above the wind. “How are you so sure?”

“I don’t know,” he yelled back. “I just know.”

I turned back at the hole and swallowed, suddenly feeling very nervous. I turned back to V and we looked at each other. I squeezed his arm once and closed my eyes tightly. “I’m so sorry.” I apologised in advance.

I release him, and he looked at me with a sad smile. “It’s fine. It’s better this way.”

I step back, just a step away from falling. “I’m so sorry.” I repeat and grab V’s arm and fall pulling him with me back into the hell he was running from.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _unbeta'd_

I open my eyes and spot a colorful picture hanging on the white wall in front of me. My eyes fall to silver hair on my bed; Zen. I watch as he sleeps peacefully, deciding it was too much work to wake him up. Instead look down at my arms and body, measuring the damage.

An I.V. drip was connected to my arm, and I was bandaged a several places. Pain started to settle in at my shoulder as I look at it and pull my gown down to see it heavy bandaged.

I hiss as the throbbing intensified and my heart rate's beeping increases on the monitor.

Zen calls my name sleepily and turn my attention towards him. He rubs his eyes and sits up looking around. When his eyes meet mine, a look of relief flashes and he takes my hand and squeezes it with his. 

“Ah, you’re awake. I am so glad.” he breathes into my hand, something wet follows. 

I turn my hand and wipe his eyes. “It’s alright, don’t cry. I’m here.”

“I’m not crying, shut up.” he snips but lets me continue wiping his tears away.

“How long was I out?” I asked him after he calmed himself down.

“A week at most, I think.” he says the last part as if an afterthought. “I don’t remember, everything happened too fast.”

“It’s okay,” I nod satisfied. “And… V? Is he…” 

He nods, “Yeah, he’s alive. You ended up taking most of the damage for him.”

“That’s a relief.” I sighed out. “I was worried I took the hit for nothing.”

Zen gets up, wiping his jeans. “I’ll bring the rest—they’re dying to know if you’re awake.”

I nod silently, and rest my head back on the pillows, looking up at the white ceiling. I really hate white.

“Ah!” I hear Yoosung before I see him. I see a blob of yellow zoom past the bed and end up beside me. He calls my name out with watery eyes and flushed cheeks.

I carcass his cheek with my hand. “I’m fine. One little bullet won’t destroy me.”

“She’s right, Yoosung.” Jumin says stopping at the end of the bed. “She’s stronger than that.”

I smile at him, and Jaehee peeks up behind him, holding a coffee. “You’re alright.” Her reaction was similar to Zen as she looks down and rubs her eyes.

“And the rest?” I ask looking around.

“Saeyoung’s with his brother and Jihyun is resting two floors up.” Jumin replies. “Saeyoung said he’ll be visiting later.”

“Saeyoung… is Luciel, correct?” I ask tilting my head. “And I take it Jihyun is V.”

“Ah, you don’t know.” Zen trails off remembering.

“They’ll tell you.” Jaehee reassures. “We promised not to keep anymore secrets between the RFA members.”

“Um… and Rika?”

“She’s fine,” Jumin sounded a little bitter, but I couldn’t blame him. “We moved her to The States to get the help she needs.”

“I see,” I say nodding, then think. _“I hope she rots.”_

“Are you feel alright?” Jaehee asks stepping closer. “Is your shoulder hurting?”

I had forgotten all about it… up until I was reminded of the throbbing pain traveling down with every movement I did.

I smile. “Nothing too serious.”

Jaehee lets out a quiet sigh and smiles back. “That’s good.”

I sit up straighter, my smile still on my face. “Acutally… I was wondering, when am I going home? Soon I’m guessing.”

“Going home? Nonsense.” Zen says. “You’re injured, and you’re staying here until you’re better.”

I shake my head. “No, no. I’m alright now.” I insist. “Really, I can’t even feel the pain on my shoulder.”

“I doubt it.” Jumin interjects. “You wince every time you move.”

“I’m _fine_.” I stress. “Nothing major. I’ll be lively again in a day or two.”

“You’re too stubborn,” Yoosung says. “Let the doctors take care of you.”

I stare at him, he stares back, and the longer I stare the bigger the sparkle in his eyes become. I sigh. “Alright, alright. I’m being stubborn.”

The doctor opens the door, and blinks in surprise. “Oh, you’re awake? I was sure you wouldn’t wake up for another couple days.”

A smaller nurse comes from behind him, ushering the rest of the RFA members out of the room and leaves us two alone.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor grabs the clipboard on the shelf and skimmed through it.

“Better than I thought.” I say.

“I see,” The doctor nods. “It appears that the soft tissues of your shoulder took most of the damage. Consider yourself lucky; had it been your nerves or a joint it would have resulted in arterial or neurological deficits. I strongly recommend you to stop from doing certain tasks that could cause further damage to your shoulder. Extreme exercises would have to be put off until further notice.”

“I understand.” I nod. “Uh… how would this damage me in the long run?”

“Not too much, I anticipate. We successfully removed the damaged tissue and removed the fragments of the bullet. Unfortunately, you’ll stay here a couple nights due to you losing a significant amount of fluids and the fever you had due to this.

I nod. “Thank you, Doctor.”

He smiles and excuses himself.

I sigh and look up at the ceiling again— contemplating.

_“What should I do? What should I do?”_

The question repeats itself around my mind multiple times until the sky is dark outside and I’m too restless to sleep. I try to roll over only to wince at the pain when my shoulder is jolted. 

I jerk when I hear a click of the door opening. I sit up and strain my neck to look at the intruder only relaxing when I see it’s Luciel. He shuffles into the room, hair disheveled and a red welt on his cheek. He flops on the green seat and sighs heavily.

“Woah,” I stare in awe. “What happened to you?”

He flinches as if he wasn’t expecting me to be awake. “Gah! You’re awake still?”

“I can’t sleep.” I shrug. “I was told you have somethings to tell me, is that right?”

He scratched his head nervously then sighs again. “Um… yeah I do.”

He straighten up and rests his elbows on his knees. “How much do you know?”

“Up until I was shot which is not a lot.”

“That’s what I thought.” Luciel sighs, twirling his headphone wire between his fingers. “Hmm…”

“Start from a steady point, what’s your birth name?”

He paused and it’s silent for a while, with only the noise of my monitor filling the void. I watch as he opens his mouth and closes it, but just as I start to change the question he replies in the softest of tones.

“Choi Saeyoung.” 

I nod. “That’s good, that’s good. It must have been hard. Okay, let’s move to a difficult question— what’s your relationship with Unknown.”

He laughs dryly. “Ah, you’ve always been so direct.”

I stare silently at him knowing that if I humor him, we’ll only stray off topic. He sighs again, and rests his head on the wall looking up at the ceiling.

“He’s… he’s my younger brother.” he continues to fiddle with the string at a steady pace. “Um, well, I ended up doing something horrible and now he won’t forgive me. Not that I blame him.”

I frown thoughtful. “What horrible thing did you do, Saeyoung?”

His eyes flicker towards me before he goes back to staring at the ceiling. “I left him behind with a horrible woman.”

“Why did you do that?” I ask.

“Hmm… well, I wasn’t planning on leaving him, not really. I just—they told me—”

My eyes narrow as he fiddled with the wire faster. I raise my hands with palms showing and say in a soft voice. “It’s okay, try again slower. Breathe this time. It’s okay.” 

He nods and I deflate in relief when his fidgeting slows and he’s sitting still again. He breathes out slowly then continues. 

“They sent pictures of him, he was always smiling and he looked happy. I took that as a boost to finish my training faster but then one day the pictures stopped. I tried not to worry at first but when I asked V and Rika they reassured me he was fine. That _everything was fine_.” He laughs bitterly at the end. “It wasn’t fine. I should have known it would have ended up like this.”

“What happened to your brother, Saeyoung?”

He quiet again, staring at the wall this time. I stay silent for a while but when I thought he wasn’t going to reply, I repeat my question and he jerks as if he was awoken by my voice.

“He was hypnotized and drugged into blindly following Rika’s cult.”

I blink, tilting my head and think. “What happened then? Where is he?”

“He became unstable when I confronted him at Mint Eye and then you know… shot you instead of V. It was wild.” he laughs softly but it was too forceful and fell of his mouth awkwardly. “He’s getting treatment now, but it isn’t going so well. He’s rejecting it and I worry he’ll end up hurting himself trying to hurt me.”

I hum before turning back and settling down on my bed. “I’m glad you shared these things with me. It must’ve been very hard to bare such deep wounds all by yourself for so long. Thank you.”

Saeyoung sniffs and laughs wetly. “Yeah, well, my brother had it harder.”

I hum but chose not to answer, closing my eyes. “We’re not done here,” I murmur, closing my eyes. “I still have lots of questions to ask.”

“I figured.” he gets up. “I’ll let you have some rest, you must be tired.”

“Saeyoung,” I stop him.

“Hmm?”

“One day, it'll be easier to breathe.”

He’s silent then says. “Your education really doesn’t betray you.”

I flush. “Oh, I’m sorry—I wasn’t trying to,” I fumble at the end, flustered at being caught. “It’s a habit of mine. I’m sorry.”

He shuffles out the room with a quiet laugh and a soft, “Good night.” 

I don’t dream of paradise that night—I don’t dream of anything but blissful blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Fun Fact:** MC studied in Psychology and Sociology with a doctorate degree in Psychology. Which is why she’s able to pick up on things most would ignore; like anxiety mannerisms or little quirks that indicate stress or lying. You’ll find that this is extremely convenient and troublesome for her and those around her.


End file.
